On childbirth. Part 1.

I did not have a childbirth experience with my first son, Mason. My ex husband and I adopted him when he was 5 months old. I never really thought I would ever get pregnant actually. I miscarried once when I was 18, and since then it never happened. Until last year I actually didn't believe it.

Now lets fast forward....

Noah was due on December 28, 2012. The doctor had planned on taking him a week early because he was growing so fast. On November 13th I got off from work and needed to pick up Mason from school and go food shopping. First stop, school. Next stop, Publix. Mason and I get out of the car and right at that moment I feel a small gush of water. I blow it off. I figured I just peed myself a little and into Publix I go. Normally I would have went home but Mason really needed poster board for a school project. So we finish up there and we go home.

                                           Mason and me at my baby shower. 3 days before my water breaks.

Once home the first thing I do is empty my bladder. Man did I have to go! I figured problem solved. I changed my clothes and a couple of minutes later it happens again. Small gush of water.What the HECK is going on!!!! Two outfits later I call my mom. She then proceeds to tell me that my water broke and I need to go to the hospital. Why didn't I think of that? I call my friend Jenice at work. (We both worked at the hospital I was going to be giving birth at). I ask her to call Kelly in the E.R. and ask her what I should do. She calls me back and tells me I need to get there ASAP. Needless to say, I am so not ready for this. No bag packed. No plans for Mason. Nothing. I call my ex so I can drop off Mason. And off we go.

We get there and I am immediately taken to the Mom/baby floor. Got the confirmation that my water did indeed break. Now what? I am 33 weeks pregnant, this can't be good. Since this hospital does not have a NICU, I get transferred 40 miles away by ambulance. There I sat for 4 days. I was admitted on Tuesday. And the plan was to induce on Friday. They wanted to keep him in until he reached 34 weeks. It was 4 days of being poked and prodded. I thought it would be easy. Water breaks = baby comes. Instead it was all these rules. Don't get up, don't do this, don't do that. Friday needs to get here, and it needs to get here NOW!

Stay tuned for part 2.

Back to sleep or Belly to sleep? That is the question...

I am struggling with this. While Noah was in the NICU they beat the "back to sleep" notion into your brain. They also say no blankets. Hypocritical since every time I went up there Noah was swaddled in a blanket. Nevertheless, everywhere I turn its all about putting your baby on their back to sleep. I guess it bothers me because when Mason (who is now almost 7) was a baby it was belly to sleep. When talking to others, it was side to sleep. SO CONFUSING!!! But I guess it studies show that babies that sleep on their backs are have a lesser chance of SIDS. For those of you that don't know what it is, here is a good link to check out. http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/sids.html

When Noah first came home back sleeping wasn't a problem. As the days go on though, he hates it. Since he is also a gassy baby, I am sure it feels good to sleep on his tummy. If I put him on his back he may sleep for minutes. He then stiffens and screams. Hmmmm... Flip him to his belly and presto!! Sleeping baby!!!

I posted this question on facebook and to my surprise a lot of people let their babies sleep on their belly.I thought I was the only one breaking the rules. Made me feel a lot better. I am sure Noah appreciates it too.

Almost 300 page views

Nothing can even compare to how much this excites me. I am not writing to gain a popularity contest. I am not writing for money. Hell, I am not writing because I have time. I am, however, writing because I want someone to read this and say " I thought I was the only one that had this kind of crap happen to them." If one person can read this and relate to this then my job is done. 

The entertainment value does come along with it. Let's face it, if you know me then you know I am a "colorful" person. And when I say colorful I mean I curse a lot. I use the "F" word like the word "the". I am not proud of this but, it is what it is. I am also very animated (which doesn't help when you are writing). I like to act out my stories when I tell them. Ask anyone that knows my poop in the pants story and they will tell you. They love it when I tell it. And lastly, I don't care what people think. I am an open book. I will tell stories about anything that has happened to me. In my short 30 years on this Earth I have lived a life that no one can imagine. Things happen to everyone. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. If I pee my pants I will write about it. And as you can already see, poop happens. A lot.

I have no shame. I am me.

So with that being said, I am thrilled that this is being read. It inspires me to write more. Thank you to all that have taken time out of their busy lives to read this. It is truly appreciated!

Going to the bathroom when you have kids

Life is no longer about you when you have small kids. You can't enjoy the simple things in life anymore. Take for instance, going to the bathroom. It never fails. As soon as I get in there, Noah cries. Solution: baby in the bath tub.

Normalcy....

So today my life returned to normal. I didn't have any company or visitors. It was business as usual. Mason woke me up before my alarm which really pisses me off. And its not early like "hours" more like minutes. You really can't let me sleep the 20 minutes before my alarm goes off??? And to add insult to injury, Noah was still sleeping!!! Oh well, its hard to be mad at him because he is so cute.

The morning is slow moving. No one is in a real hurry to get ready. Breakfast. check. Mason getting dressed. Sorta check. He gets distracted easily. So many angry birds around. So after about 30 minutes of yelling across the house that he needs to get dressed, it finally happens. I go and check and all is well until I turn to leave Mason's room and he yells for me to watch out. I am now looking at him like he is crazy. Watch out for what??? He then proceeds to tell me how I almost stepped in dog poop. Yes, dog poop. Lucky decides that after I let him out to go potty that he will hold it until he comes back in the house. Add insult to injury, I am out of paper towels. So I clean that up, carefully mind you, with toilet paper. At least he peed outside. In the crate goes the dog.

Now I get dressed, feed Noah, and make sure Mason brushed his teeth. Now we are able to go. I drop Mason off at school. On the way home I decide that I need to go to Publix. I am feeling a little ballsy considering I don't have the diaper bag. I get Noah out of the car and now I am cursing the car seat. Why does it not have the notches to fit in the shopping cart? Needless to say I had to put him in the actual cart and proceeded to bury him in groceries. I am assuming it is frowned upon to bury your kid. A little old lady asked me if there was really a baby in the cart. I just looked at her and said " Nah I just like to shop with an empty baby seat in my cart. Of course there is a baby in there but don't worry, he is fine. I made sure there was a hole in the grocery mountain for him to breathe." By the look on her face it is definitely frowned upon. Call and bitch at Chicco for making a dumb car seat.

Homeward bound. Everything is good until I start bringing the groceries in. Lucky is whining to go out, Noah is crying because he is hungry and because he can't see me. That's his new thing. If he can't see me he cries. I rush and put the cold stuff away, let the dog out and feed the baby. I am going to try to put the rest of the groceries away. I lay Noah down. He looks like he is asleep. Cool. I get into the kitchen and the screaming starts. He went from the bassinet, to the swing, to the stroller, and then to his play mat. No such luck. I have to hold him. I finally get him to sleep and the groceries get put away. 3 hours later.

Abdul gets home so I am relieved of baby duty. I leave to pick up Mason. He had a good day at school. YAY!! (This is another story) Cooked dinner, ate, went to Walmart,and went tanning. Mason and Noah are bathed. Mason goes to bed and Abdul feeds Noah. Noah eats a 5 1/2 oz. bottle all at once! He usually doesn't eat that all at once. He likes to graze throughout the day.But now he his wide awake. Abdul goes to bed and I stay up with Noah. He is a little whiny but finally he goes to bed. So instead of sleeping here I write. 12:24 a.m.  But now its time for bed. Sweet dreams everyone :)

Vacation over.....

This is going to be a short entry... Alyssa is leaving today :( The end.


Just kidding. She is however leaving today. So instead of writing on here, we are going to enjoy the little bit of time she has left here before going home. I will try to post something later on tonight.

Stay tuned!

Poop.... need I say more....

I wasn't going to post another entry today but I feel like I had no choice.I also feel guilty about not posting anything yesterday so I must overcompensate. By now you are probably saying to yourself " What does this have to do with poop?" Let me explain.

My 11 week old son Noah has been having a rough time going poop. I guess the transition from breastmilk to formula has a lot to do with it. This has been going on for about 2 weeks. Now I do know it is normal for babies to not poop as much as when they are first born. The problem is he is trying to go and nothing but screaming happens. The type of scream that makes you want to run and hide. The scream of someone about to be murdered. Needless to say I called the doctor and they suggested a teaspoon of juice per ounce of formula. So I tried it and voila! Poop! Yay! Right? Not so much.....

Last night Noah was starting to struggle again. So a light went off. (Not like at the Super Dome) He hasn't pooped in almost 48 hours and the screams are starting. Lets put prune juice in his bottle. He will poop in the morning and life will be good. Not so much. This morning came and Alyssa was feeding him before we left to go to Stassi's. Since it is so beautiful out we are going to walk. I figured we would feed him before we go so we wouldn't have to worry about it then. Well while he was eating Noah farted. It was the type of fart you know is wet. Since he didn't have a lot of his bottle left so she continued to feed him. After marinating in the stench for a few, Alyssa noticed a brown stain on the side of Noah's clothes. I figured now is a good time to change him. I bring him in my room to change him. No big deal right? Wrong!!! As I am unsnapping his outfit I notice that the little brown stain has now morphed into a poop explosion!!! It was like he wasn't wearing a diaper at all. Poop all up his back. Now I have to try and pull his outfit over his head without the poop river getting on his head. No such luck.... there is poop all over this kid. Straight into the bath. But first we have to wrestle the really poopy diaper. After 88 baby wipes mission complete.

Poor Noah..... Poop everywhere. In his ears. On his head. Back was completely covered. Needless to say I don't think this kid has been cleaner. And we were able to go to Stassi's and enjoy our chicken cutlet sandwiches poop free. Good thing we didn't leave the house any sooner.......